I go to therapy.

I go to therapy.

And one more time for the cheap seats in the back: I go to therapy.

Over the years, thanks to the likes of Kevin Love and many other wonderful famous and non-famous people, the stigma surrounding therapy has begun to lessen. As someone who is going to therapy, is married to a therapist, and would like happiness to rain down on everyone, this makes me very happy.

You may be asking why I finally decided to take the plunge and go to therapy. Well, if you ask my wife, I definitely should have gone sooner, but for me, anxiety related to my current job simply became too much and I, eventually, realized this couldn’t continue or I would truly have a mental breakdown. I couldn’t successfully live my life without struggling in some facet. My job, meant to be enjoyable and stress free, was anything but. I dreaded going to work, was filled with anxiety from head to toe, had trouble sleeping, and was all around miserable. I was questioning my skills to do my job, my managerial ability, and even simply staying in the job. (Since this is a public blog, and my name is all over it, I will refrain from naming where I work other than to say I do work in the food/hospitality industry.)

I’ve only had three sessions, with the first session being the “get to know you” appointment, and I already feel like I am making progress. Maybe some of it is simply the work situation is getting better by virtue of beginning to have better employees, small steps, but I also think I am handling the stress/anxiety with less extreme reaction. Now, the times when I don’t want to go to work simply because I don’t want to go to work are increasing, and the times I am dreading what may happen at work or who may not show are decreasing. (It is truly crazy that employees just decide when they will, or will not, go to work.) That is progress.

Prior to seeing a local therapist via a private practice, I very briefly tried Talkspace. (An online therapy option that is part of my work benefits.) As someone who is very technological, and, at the time, a little therapy-hesitant, I thought Talkspace might be right up my alley. With the very minimal interaction that I had, I must save you by telling you to stay far, far, far away. It was too much, too intrusive, and simply not good. Plus, it seemed super difficult to delete an account that I barely even used.

Now, after reading the article Is This the End of the Private Practice Therapist?, I am glad I abandoned Talkspace for something better, something real, something local. Something that isn’t trying to “disrupt an industry”:

BetterHelp, for example, only pays therapists for messages that are limited to less than twice the word count of the message written by their client. As one exasperated therapist wrote, if a client says, “‘I feel like giving up,’ I have 10 words with which to respond to that or I will be out of compliance and I will not be paid for my work.”

Talkspace, on the other hand, pays therapists by the word to crank out text messages—incentivizing quantity over quality and depth. Therapists who don’t respond to an incoming message quickly enough have their pay docked. What matters most in these companies is quick client gratification instead of growth, recurring revenue instead of improved outcomes. 

Is This the End of the Private Practice Therapist?

I highly recommend reading the entire article as it is a bit scary and jarring what is happening to therapy/therapists. In this instance, I am not sure this industry needed disruption quite like this.

If you are thinking about therapy, or are currently using BetterHelp, Talkspace, or any of the others, I would recommend finding someone that you can actually see, even if it is a virtual appointment. As my therapist wife recommended, search PsychologyToday for a reputable therapist that fits your specific needs. You will be much better off and you won’t be helping these horrible companies take advantage of unsuspecting therapists and clients.

Working in the restaurant industry can be a hard, stressful job. The hours can be long and the work strenuous. During busy meal periods, you may feel a lot of pressure to prepare meals quickly without sacrificing quality. At times, your breaks may be postponed because of a rush of customers.

Stress Management Techniques

Being that this web site is about my hunt for my entrepreneurial dream, you might be asking why am I posting these personal revelations for the world to read? Well, as someone who wants to create their own business dealing with food, and stress and anxiety being well documented in the industry, I thought it great to bring my personal struggles to the forefront to continue to help destigmatize mental health struggles. I hope to create a business, whatever it may be, to reduce the stress that I feel, while also creating a fantastic work environment for any employees. As I have said on multiple occasions, this is what Jeremy Umansky at Larder and Birdie’s are doing and I hope to replicate in the future with my entrepreneurial endeavors.